The gift of intuitive painting fell into my waiting arms like a life line being thrown to one who is drowning. Without questioning, I grabbed hold of the paint brush being offered and held on for dear life. My heart was longing to be free, to create with wild abandon, to walk through fire to come out on the other side transformed.
Trust is a beautiful thing. It doesn't come easily for me. I prefer to have a well thought out plan. I am an all my ducks in a row kind of girl. Sitting on my back porch, in the comfort of my favorite chair, California seemed a lifetime away. This time the longing was too great. The wild heart won and I took a running leap into the unknown because nothing less would do.
Trust is the thread that runs deep into the wild heart of my intuitive painting experience. It is meeting the white paper face to face and letting the brush be in charge. In this space, there is no right, no wrong, no good, no bad. I am alive again. The slate is wiped clean. It is safe to be me. I love the gift of letting go and being surprised by the mystery that shows itself. Lost in my senses, I hear the voice of my painting whispering in my ear. I feel the texture of the paint as it moves on the paper, thick and creamy, thin and transparent, layers of ever changing possibilities that will never be duplicated. Lost in the moment under my brush, there is no plan, no time to think, the brush knows what to do. I am simply a witness. Process painting has plugged me into the source, the creative flow of who I am. There is something so primal and elemental at work, I feel like a child again, memories of creating with such ecstasy that I am breathless.
Trust is where it is at for me. Trusting myself, trusting the process and trusting the world around me. I am letting go of the plan and living the life. What a gift! As I continue my journey, I look back at the ledge that I abandon a few short months ago and I can barely remember what it was like to sit up there as I waited for something to change my life. I am still falling, the wind in my face, and no land in sight. I think I will paint myself a pair of wings and simply take flight. In my painting world, all things are possible.
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